Why...

Why is this what always happens to me?

I decide in my head that I am going to do it. I am finally going to eat better! 

And then...

 5 minutes later I will smell McDonald's,

or a piece if cake,

or some french fries.

And then that resolution to be better flies right out the darn window while I am sitting in the drive thru!

It's been a while...

I know its been a while. I just haven't really had much to write about.

This past weekend was my brother-in-laws wedding. 

For months before hand I kept telling myself that I needed to lose weight.

And did it happen? No.

So the wedding came and I am still looking like a giant marshmallow puff and believe 

me the pictures reflect this very thing.

You would think by looking at the pictures and seeing that I can no longer "hide" my fat especially the fat on my face I would be motivated enough to start doing something about it.

Well when we went grocery shopping the other night I got some "healthy" items fully intending on eating them. Its now two days later and after a McDonald's breakfast and lunch, an Italian buffet, and about 6 slices of pizza for dinner tonight you can tell its not going so well.

Can someone give me the motivation and willpower I so desperately need??

There is no reason that I should be like this. 

I eat when I'm happy

I eat when I'm sad

I eat when I'm anxious

I eat when I'm bored

I just pretty much eat all day long

and it never seems to stop...

I read all of these wonderful stories about people who have done it-people who have lost the weight.

I want so badly to be one of those people.

Someday maybe.

So...

So after my last post and observing really just how bad I look I decided enough was enough for like the bazillionth time this year. We shall see how long this lasts.

Day 1 is complete of the South Beach Diet.

Day 1 is also complete of Zumba Wii Fitness.

My sweet husband surprised me with it a few days ago after I had been eyeing it.

Speaking of looking bad you should see me Zumba ;)

Now let me tell you that I am sick and congested at this very moment so completing a 20 minute Zumba workout was very difficult BUT I did it AND I will have you know that it ranked me as a Zumba Pro.

I'll work my way up to the hour workout when I can breath again. 

Furthermore I WANT BREAD!!!

For those of you who don't know about the South Beach Diet phase 1 lasts 2 weeks and carbs and fruit are banned!

It is supposed to rid you of your cravings to help you proceed with the rest of the diet wherein you add back in "good carbs" and fruit.

My doctor recommended it to me because she said I have too much of that dreaded belly fat.

Really lady?!? You think? I had no idea!! HAHA

So here is wishing me luck on day 2...

a year in review...

 

Okay so as horrifying as it is for me to share this with you I must because this blog is about laying it all out there.

We have just recently hit our year mark on our time here in Idaho.

I was looking through pictures over the last year and I noticed a trend...

Progressively over the last year I have gotten fatter and fatter. I'll let the above pictures do the talking. 

I mean seriously check out the difference in those two faces.

Gross!

The first picture was 30 lbs ago.

That's right I've gained back all of the 30 lbs lost at the beginning of 2010 and if its possible I think I look worse now than I did then.

Not to mention the fact that NONE of my clothes fit.

Which is a big bummer because I have a whole closet full of cute clothes that are just sitting their crying because they don't get to be shown to the world- and believe me they wouldn't be happy if they were shown to the world on this body right now because they wouldn't look so good with all the rolls!

So after looking back at this past year and seeing the physical proof of my self neglect and gluttonous eating I decided it was time to go to the gym...

So I went tonight for an hour-that was of course after I had a large helping of homemade macaroni and cheese. Don't worry I had some asparagus too. One step at a time!

I love to go out to eat...

This past week my in-laws came to town to hang out with us for a few days.

I was so excited to go to the Bodies Exhibit, white water raft down the Snake river, and just hang out but you know what I was WAY excited for? Eating out. Yup that's right. I am that pathetic. The whole

week before they came I was just thinking about all of the different places we would eat at-just thinking about it made my mouth salivate. 

Its like when I get excited to go on a road trip-not for the drive because I hate being in the car.

Nope I get excited for road trips because of the fast food stops. 

So sad.

They came, we had a ton of fun, and we ate.

I was one happy camper.

Mirror vs. Camera

What is the deal with this? Really?!?! Why is it that when I am getting ready and I look in the mirror at the finished product I think- dang I look pretty good! And then...someone takes a picture of me...or I make them take a picture of me.

You know what happens every single time. I am disgusted.

Really disgusted.

What happened to that girl in the mirror.

O ya that's right- I must have one of those magic mirrors that tells me I look good every day.

Its like when you go to Disneyland or some other large gathering place and you sit and watch the people pass by (BTW that is one of my favorite past times-it makes me feel better about myself) and you think to yourself-I want whatever mirror they're looking into that's telling them they look good. 

The sad, and scary thing is I think I have that mirror!

Lying?

So I gave up soda for 2 whole days and then I decided that it is just too tasty to do without. Yes, I realize that the chemicals in it are bad for me. Yes, I know I could do without the caffeine but there is something so satisfying about that ice cold sip of diet DP/ diet Coke, whichever it may be.

Justin told me he swears I "give up" soda at least 20 times a year and I only last a few days. One time I lasted 3 whole months. I know, crazy right?

Then I had a sip and I was hooked AGAIN!

I really wonder if they are lying to us when they say they don't put actual coke (the drug) in coke (the drink) anymore...